Klaine with Hats
by mima1216
Summary: "Kurt's eyes were wide with shock as he stared at the wall in horror. 'BLAINE! There's a DEAD HUMAN in our HOUSE'" Poking fun at Canniblaine! Based on the FilmCow masterpiece "Llamas with Hats." One-shot. T for minor character death and cannibalism.
1. Klaine with Hats

**A/N: **This story is based off the video "Llamas with Hats" by SecretAgentBob (FilmCow Productions). If you haven't seen it, I suggest you do before you read this fanfiction. It's really funny, but you may not be humored if you're an adult. They never find FilmCow funny. Silly them. XD

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Glee or any of its characters, for Ryan Murphy does. I do not own Llamas with Hats either, FilmCow/SecretAgentBob on YouTube does.

**WARNING: **Minor character death, mentioned homicide, and mentioned cannibalism. There's a reason this is rated T, you guys.

Reviews are love! _Lessthan3  


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**CANNIBLAINE  
(AKA Klaine with Hats)**

It was around noon when Kurt arrived home from Rachel's overnight bachlorette party. He had woken up with a mad hangover, which he had treated by now with a few bottles of water. This surprised him, for normally all the drinking happened at the batchlor's party. He had heard that the guys at Finn's party didn't even drink; they just spent the night battling each other out in a live Call of Duty tournament, with BB guns and helmets and everything. Kurt was a little hesitant when he heard Blaine was invited, for whenever Blaine was involved in these kinds of games, it would take him a while to get out of character. In High School, he would occasionally have Nerf gun battles with other Warblers, and for the next few days Kurt would have to make sure he wasn't around sharp objects and people at the same time. An incident like that hadn't occurred since graduation, and now that he and Blaine were happily married living in Brooklyn, Kurt was glad he would never have to worry about it ever again.

Until today.

Kurt took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He adjusted his pink sun hat before unlocking the door and stepping inside the house, closing the door behind him. He looked around, checking to see if any wreckage had been done to his outlandishly-decorated living room.

He sighed in relief. It was spotless.

"Blaine? I'm home!" He called, hanging his coach bag on the door handle and slipping off his mink coat. Yes, Kurt was an expensive shopper. Lucky for him, Blaine had the money to pay for it all. "Blaine? Honey, where are you?" He tried again when he didn't receive an answer.

There was still so reply. Kurt looked around curiously, taking a few steps forward, when suddenly it hit him. The sudden gut-wrenching stench of rotting metal. Kurt's hand flew up to his nose, blocking his nostrils from the smell. He gagged, spinning around. He immediately regretted it.

"_BLAINE!"_

He heard a serious of pots and pans crashing to the ground from the kitchen, and suddenly Blaine was busting through the double-hinged door, holding a frying pan in the air and wearing a green night cap. "What? What's wrong? Is someone in the house?" He was frantically searching around, completely overlooking what had scared the wits out of his husband.

Kurt's eyes were wide with shock as he stared at the wall in horror. _"BLAINE! There's a DEAD HUMAN in our HOUSE!" _He pointed a trembling finger at the limp body leaning against his expensive wallpaper, which was now stained red. He suddenly recognized the body. His jaw dropped when he realized the man was no other than Jeremiah, the GAP junior manager Blaine had serenaded and got fired back in High School. The last time Kurt saw him, he had rejected Blaine and stowed off in an Edward Cullen like way, throwing a hood over his long, messy hair so no one would see his face. Now, he was a bloody mess on the floor of the Hummel-Anderson household, eyes struck with fear.

Blaine's head turned from behind the sofa to his former crush, his eyebrows arching in surprise. "Oh, hey! How did he get here?" He spoke in a rather nonchalant way, tilting his head in curiosity.

Kurt snapped his head to give Blaine a horrified look, then back at the body. There was no way Blaine was totally unaware of the rotting human in the living room. It was _right there, _stinking up the place and _staining his four thousand dollar rug with blood! _He locked eyes with his husband again. _"Blaaaaaaine! _What did you _do?"_ He accused, his eyes narrowing as he folded his arms over his chest.

Blaine dropped the pan, letting it hit the sofa as he held his hands up defensively. _"Me? _I-achk- I didn't do this!" His was rather casual considering the circumstances.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Explain what happened, Blaine!"

"I've never seen him before in my life!" Blaine shrugged, but Kurt could tell by the way his eyes got a little bigger that he knew he had been caught in a lie. Of course Blaine had seen him before; he had sung Robin Thicke to him in front of about twenty mortified shoppers!

"Why did you _kill _this person, Blaine?" Kurt shouted frantically, barely believing his own words. But it was quite obvious that Blaine had _something_ to do with this.

Blaine kept shrugging, speaking in a carefree but still defensive tone. "I do not kill people. That is… That is my _least _favorite thing to do."

Kurt narrowed his eyes again, staring daggers into his husband. "Tell me, Blaine, exactly what you were doing before I got home."

Blaine seemed to quickly recollect his thoughts as he began to explain. "Alright, well, I-I was in the kitchen…"

"Okay…" Kurt nodded.

"I was-ugh- I was at the counter…"

"Yes…"

"Making lunch…"

"Go on…"

"And, uh, well, this guy walked in…"

"Okay…"

"So I went up to him…"

"Yes…"

"And I-ugh- well, I stabbed him thirty-seven times in the chest."

Silence.

Both their faces were completely void of expression. Blaine just stared blankly at Kurt, waiting for him to do something other than stare back at him with raised eyebrows. Nobody moved until Kurt finally face-palmed himself.

"_Blaaaaaaaine!" _He groaned in frustration. "That _kills _people!"

"_Oh!"_ Blaine looked over at the body in realization, only slightly shocked. "Oh, w-wow! I-I-_tuh! _I didn't know that!" He chuckled guiltily, running his fingers through his curly locks.

"_How could you not know that?" _

"Yeah, I'm in the wrong ear. I suck."

Kurt rubbed his temples. He felt a migraine coming on. How could Blaine _do_ something like this? And not only that, but how was he not _freaking out?_ This was insane. He had to be dreaming. There was no way Blaine killed a person and left him on the floor of the living room. He turned his attention to the body once again, cringing a bit when he realized he'd have to move the body to clean the blood before it stained. He'd have to _touch_ it. Gross…

Wait a minute…

"What happened to his hands?" Kurt asked sceptically. As if he wasn't skeptical about this situation already.

"What's that?" Blaine's head snapped up. He had picked up the pan and was in the process of sneaking back into the kitchen while Kurt wasn't paying attention, and was now frozen in place.

"His hands," Kurt pointed to the bleeding stubs at the end of Jeremiah's arms. "Wha-Why are they _missing?"_

"Well, I, ugh…" Blaine rocked on the back of his heels, avoiding Kurt's glaring eyes. "I kind of, uh, cooked them up… And ate them."

Another silence.

Kurt's face slowly twisted into a look of disgust as he took in Blaine's words. He couldn't believe it. Blaine had _eaten human flesh? _He felt sick. _Horribly_ sick. This was just _so_ wrong. He had to support himself against the wall to keep from collapsing. Blaine bit his lip, looking slightly embarrassed.

Kurt finally composed himself and stood up straight. He had to convince himself, for now, that everything was normal; that was he just heard wasn't sickening at all. He and Blaine had been together for seven years now, and there was no way he was going to let a stupid thing like this come between them. But, of course, he was still upset. _"Blaaaaine!"_

"Well, I-I was hungry," Blaine once again shrugged it off. "And, well, you know, when you crave hands…"

"Why on _earth_ would you do that?" Kurt stressed, his eyes begging for a more reasonable excuse.

"I was hungry for hands! Gimme a break!"

"_Blaaaaaine!"_

"My stomach was making the rumblies." A wicked smirk crossed Blaine's face as he said this, his voice lowering into a rather creepy, seductive tone.

"_Blaine!"_

"That only_ hands_ would satisfy."

"What is _wrong _with you, Blaine?" Kurt deadpanned.

Blaine quickly switched back to his defensive, yet casual pitch. "Well, I kill people and I eat hands, that's two things."

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**A/N:** LOL! Hope you enjoyed! XD

I may write one for Llama with Hats 2, 3, and 4 when I get the chance. But for now, I'm going to celebrate...

_**YEEEESSSSSS! I FINALLY FINISHED A ONE-SHOT! SUCCESS! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I HAVE A STORY COMPLETE! :D**_

Oh, sorry, I forgot you were still here. Haha, silly me! ^^ Why don't you leave a review before you go, yes? If you want to see a sequel, tell me. ;)\

Loz uv luvz...

_~Mima Roses_


	2. Klaine with Hats 2

**A/N:** There were so many demands for a sequel I just couldn't resist. :)

I apologize that this took, like, a lifetime to post. I have a serious procrastinating problem with practically EVERYTHING. Even creative writing, which is my one true passion other than filming random things with my video camera. And watching YouTube videos...

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Glee or any of its characters, for Ryan Murphy does. I do not own Llamas with Hats either, FilmCow/SecretAgentBob on YouTube does.

**WARNING:** Mass homicide, gore, and overall dark themes.

**P.S.** I have to say thank you to Harold Camping. First of all, _F*** YOU _(Cee Lo Green style).Second of all, because of you, I had the motivation to post this chapter after the world ended. Oh, wait, we're still alive, aren't we? Huh. Funny. =P Oh, and by the way, YOU OWE MY DAD MONEY, B*TCH! (Not joking, he really does.)

Now on with the story. :)

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**CANNIBLAINE 2**

**(AKA Klaine with Hats 2)**

Ever since the Jeremiah killing incident took place, Blaine hadn't acted up on anything. This, to Kurt, was a relief.

Kurt had actually started to cry after arguing with Blaine about the body. That was pretty much when Blaine kind of snapped out of it and became... Well, normal again. He was now Blaine Hummel-Anderson, the non-cannibalistic, innocent-of-all-homicide-charges husband to Kurt. He had quickly apologized for being so insensitive, and for, well... Killing a human. And eating the body's hands ever so disrespectfully. He also promised he'd never get involved in the other boys' violent games, no matter how tempting. This brought them back to their old routine, the _normal_ routine. Other than having to drag Jeremiah's body out to the docks and dump him in the ocean, as well as leaving a suicide note in his apartment, everything was happy again. Kurt was so glad it hadn't affected their marriage in any way. He still loved Blaine, and Blaine wasn't killing anyone else anytime soon, nor was he consuming anyone else. It was perfect.

This is why Kurt was so frantic when Finn and Puck came to the house on International Ninja Day with an extra black suit and an extra set of sai swords, asking Blaine if he was up for a game of "Graphic Ninja," warning him that it was called "Graphic" for a reason. Blaine was instantly pumped, but Kurt had pulled him back and reminded him of his promise. Blaine then asked Finn and Puck if he could play without weapons, in which they replied that it was a stupid and terrible idea to be surrounded by armed ninjas and having no weapon for self defense, but he could do it. When Blaine got back, he told Kurt that since he was almost killed by Mike and his surprisingly awesome air-strike, he was forced to use a weapon to defend himself. Kurt was now on constant alert, screaming whenever Blaine even picked up a toothpick.

It had been three days since the ninja game and Blaine hadn't felt the urge to do anything dark or twisted, so he decided to treat Kurt to a cruise to calm his nerves. Kurt protested at first, claiming Blaine shouldn't be in crowded areas surrounded by water at this point, but suddenly forgot about everything when he was presented with the brochure. Everything just looked _amazing._ The deck was breathtaking, the buffets looked mouthwatering, the entertainment was extremely appealing, and there were plenty of romantic places for him and Blaine to visit any time they wanted. It was a vacation dream come true.

So now, all Kurt could wonder was how he could ever be so stupid as to think that.

He and Blaine were currently sitting in an inflatable yellow raft in the middle of the ocean. A few thousand feet away was a sinking cruise ship, where distant screams of terror could be heard as the boat sank lower and lower into the liquid abyss. Kurt couldn't stop replaying the chaos that had just occurred in his head. He was horrified, but somehow, he was more _pissed_ than scared.

_"Blaine!" _He locked eyes with his psychopathic husband from across the lifeboat, giving him a long, ice cold glare. "What on _earth_ was all _that?"_ He waved his arm in the direction of the tragedy occurring right next to them.

Blaine blinked back at him a couple times before switching his gaze to the wreckage, then back to Kurt. His eyes were clearly confused. "I'm not sure what you're referring to."

Kurt's jaw dropped. Oh, _no. _There was no way he was going to deal with _this_ Blaine again. The Blaine who supposedly had absolutely no idea what was happening when _he_ caused _everything._ The Blaine who had no respect and no sympathy. His eyes narrowed into slits and he folded his arms over his chest, which was annoyingly bulky due to the tacky orange life jacket he was wearing. "You _sunk_ an _entire _cruise ship, Blaine!"

Blaine raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Are you sure that was me? I-I think I would remember something like that."

Kurt was practically grinding his teeth together in rage, but managed to keep a poker face. "Blaine, I watched you fire a harpoon into the captain's face." He cringed at the memory of the captain exploding before every passengers' eyes on the deck. He knew he should have given security a heads-up and guard the weapons storage basement more carefully. He wasn't sure when Blaine even left his side to go _get_ the harpoon. He just sort of snuck down there and snatched it.

"That sounds dangerous," Blaine commented.

"You were _head-butting children_ off the side of the ship!" Kurt reminded him, appalled by the memory of those poor children's faces as they tried to swim up through mid air while falling to their watery doom.

"That- uh- that must have been horrifying to watch," Blaine raised his eyebrows in interest, like this was all _news _to him.

"And then you started making out with the ice sculptures!" This was a particular action of Blaine's that affected Kurt the most. Kurt didn't think he'd ever be jealous of an inanimate object, especially one that wasn't _nearly _as attractive as him. He would have a talk with Blaine about that later.

"Well thank God the children weren't on board to see it!" Blaine seemed relieved by this fact, as opposed to Kurt's disapproving glare that followed the comment. Blaine only gave him a slightly apologetic shrug in response.

Kurt let out a frustrated huff. How was it that the _one guy_ he chose to spend the rest of his life with turned out to be a homicidal lunatic when involved in or exposed to any sort of active violence? Even in high school, when Blaine was in the post Nerf-gun battle state thanks to Wes and David, he would never have killed an entire boat load of people. Back then he had only gone as far as stabbing a squirrel... Which was sickening, but not nearly as bad as murdering humans. At the moment, he just couldn't look at Blaine, who was patiently awaiting a response. Instead, he looked down...

He immediately regretted it.

"Uhhahhh, Blaine..." He was frozen stiff, his complexion quickly paling as he examined the floor of the inflatable raft. "... Why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?"

Blaine's eyes wandered down as well, raising his eyebrows curiously at the disgusting goo that surrounded him. "Whoa, I guess you could say it is red and sticky..."

"Blaine, what are we sitting in?" Kurt interrogated disapprovingly, holding his hands up to keep it away from the unknown substance. The worst part was, he already knew. The familiar stench of rotting metal flared in his nostrils the minute he noticed he was sitting in something. He just wanted to hear Blaine say it, hoping he was wrong in his horrifying assumption.

Blaine looked up at the sky thoughtfully for a moment before attempting to answer. "Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "No, I would not believe that!" He snapped.

"Uhh... Melted gumdrops."

"No..."

"Boat nectar."

_"No!"_

"Some of God's tears."

"Tell me the truth, Blaine!" Kurt hissed. He was sick and tired of games.

"Fine!" Blaine admitted in defeat. "It's the lovely elderly couple from 2B!"

Kurt immediately gasped, almost making a move to scramble to his feet, but quickly decided against it, for it would mean sticking his hands in the shallow pool or Mr. and Mrs. Franklin, whom they had been assigned to sit with at dinner. They were a peaceful pair, not even batting an eyelash when Kurt introduced Blaine as his husband. He was devastated at the loss, but what concerned him more was that he was now sitting in _old people blood, _which is far more disgusting than younger blood.

"_BLAAAAINE!" _

"Well, they were, uh, they were taking all the red vines..."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing!"

"I will not apologize for art!" Blaine gestured to the pool of blood. Kurt nearly vomited at the thought of Blaine considering this monstrosity _art. _He looked up and tried to breathe evenly, when, once again, he noticed something was wrong.

"Where are the other lifeboats?" Kurt could have sworn there were other lifeboats lined up with the one that he and Blaine had quickly fleeted in as the boat began to sink. He would have thought _some_ people would have had enough sense to do the same rather than flail their arms around on the deck.

Blaine's eyes swiped the area as well, seemingly surprised. "Whoa, you won the prize! I didn't even notice that!"

Kurt's eyes were now locked on Blaine, horror stuck. _Please please PLEASE tell me you had nothing to do with this! _But it was obvious that he did. "Where are the other lifeboats, Blaine?"

Blaine's answer came quicker than Kurt expected. "Looking at the trajectory of the moon and the sun... probably at the bottom of the ocean. I bit lots of holes in them."

This time, Kurt groaned. He was _so _sick of this. _"Blaaaaine!"_

"I have a problem," Blaine admitted apologetically, "I have a serious problem."

"You are just _terrible _today!" Kurt gave up. He was done being mad at Blaine. But he swore that if Blaine made _one more_ stupid remark, he would just _snap._

Unfortunately for Blaine, that's exactly what followed.

"Shhhhh..." He hushed, pausing for a moment. "Do you hear that?" He whispered. Another pause followed. "That's the sound of forgiveness."

Oh, if looks could kill. "That's the sound of people drowning, Blaine!"

"That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence."

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**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed that! :D

I'd like to add that I'm SO overjoyed by all your reviews. They were absolutely lovely. I love you all too. _Lessthan3 x1000 _:D

Should I do a third? Or shan't I?

Loz morz luvz 2 uz allz...

_~Mima Roses_


	3. Klaine with Hats 3

**A/N:** Hi again! This is the first time I've updated on anything at all in a long while, so I'm glad I finally got this done. Once again, this took a long time, and I apologize. I've just been so busy… Getting distracted… And… Such… :P

Yeah… So here's part 3. It has a nice back story and other randomness… So I hope you like it.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Glee or any of its characters, for Ryan Murphy does. I do not own Llamas with Hats either, FilmCow/SecretAgentBob on YouTube does.

**WARNING:** Mass homicide, overall dark themes, and mentions of cannibalism.

Keep reviewing you overly-wonderful people! :D

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**CANNIBLAINE 3**

**(AKA Klaine with Hats 3)**

After Kurt had successfully bitch-slapped the sense into Blaine, they managed to get everything back to normal.

It wasn't easy getting back home. There was barely any cell phone reception out on the ocean, and they had to paddle for a few hours until Kurt's cell phone finally received enough bars to call 911. Then the ships arrived, and they were rescued. The police weren't even the least bit suspicious that Blaine was the one who sunk the cruise ship. All the evidence went down with the boat.

Within 24 hours, they were home safe. Blaine, once again, promised to avoid any remotely violent activates at all costs. And he kept his word. As a consequence, he became sort of a hermit and had to keep a carefully worded document of his actions for Kurt to read at the end of the day, just to be extra safe. After a few months, Kurt finally began to trust Blaine again, and stopped making him write down his each and every movement. Blaine was pretty proud of himself.

Kurt wasn't home when Blaine answered the front door to find Dave Karofsky standing there.

Here's the thing about rivalry. It never truly disappears until the two competitors have shaken hands and ended it. Blaine and Karofsky were rivals ever since Blaine transferred to McKinley in high school. Mostly over Kurt, which Kurt was blissfully unaware of. After graduation, Blaine never thought he'd have to worry about Karofsky again. Their rivalry was over because they could now live separate lives. Karofsky had thought the same thing. He had only decided to find Kurt because he didn't think he and Blaine's relationship would last that long, and maybe Blaine was long gone by now. Obviously, he was wrong.

Another thing about rivalry is that if both competitors go a few years without contact, the spark of hatred can overpower the next time they meet. The outcome is usually violence. And that's exactly what happened with Blaine and Karofsky, because the next thing they both knew, they were trying to beat the living crap out of each other.

Blaine managed to throw Karofsky out before Kurt got home. When Kurt asked about the bruises, Blaine lied and said he was attacked by a raccoon he found in the attic. Kurt started freaking out about it and quickly called an exterminator, much to Blaine's alarm. When Kurt hung up, he told Blaine that the exterminators would come tomorrow to get rid of the animal, but they had to be out of the house by then. He then suggested they go on vacation to make up for the cruise. Not wanting Kurt to catch him in a lie, Blaine cheerfully agreed a vacation to Brazil was just what they needed.

Kurt was devastated at the outcome of their trip. But really, what did he expect?

"_Blaaaaine!" _Kurt moaned as he glared viciously at his bloody mess of a husband, "We're supposed to be on _vacation!"_

Blaine simply shrugged. "I don't know about you, but I am having a wonderful time here." He stated, scanning over the chaos that once was a beautiful vacationing area in Brazil. Buildings were knocked down, cars were smashed, half the city was on fire, and there was a whole mess of people screaming and running away in horror. It didn't seem that bad to him.

"You've toppled the South American government, Blaine!" Kurt spat, throwing his open hand toward the wreckage. Kurt had to admit, it was pretty impressive that Blaine was able to destroy and entire civilization in one hour, but more horrifically impressive than proudly impressive. And no matter how impressive, he was infuriated that Blaine had once again ruined another vacation for him. He could be lounging by a pool drinking a cocktail in the sun, but _no. _Blaine had to turn the pool into an exploding minefield, and he had poisoned all the cocktail glasses, and the smoke from the fires he caused were blocking the sun.

"The people have spoken! _Viva la resistance!" _Blaine chanted, throwing a fist in the air. Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. Blaine didn't care about the resistance. That's why threw tomatoes whenever they happened to walk by protesters in the streets just to get them to stop chanting about turning against the president.

"You pushed the resistance leader into a giant fan!" Kurt told him bitterly, cringing at the disgusting memory. It was even worst because most of the blood Blaine was covered in was that of the resistance leader's.

Blaine folded his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes. "He was a traitor and a scoundrel."

"He was trying to stop you from pushing other people into a giant fan!" Kurt clarified. He was about to yell more when suddenly Blaine's body had a short spasm, his arms quickly wrapping around his stomach. Kurt was alarmed for a moment, thinking Blaine was having a heart attack or an appendix rupture, but then Blaine let out a small chuckle.

"Oh, that was a foot!" Blaine announced. "I appear to have swallowed an entire person." He said this as if it were a noticeable yet unimportant observation.

This was the part that most terrified Kurt. Ever since Blaine had admitted to eating Jeremiah's hands after killing him, Kurt had never got over the horrific fact that Blaine was technically considered a cannibal. He had been able to find hope in the fact that Blaine hadn't consumed human flesh since, but now that he's managed to consume an entire person, he had to give it up. He decided that he would feel better to look at it as one of the many traits he didn't like about his husband, but would still love him for it, because sometimes you have to learn to love someone's bad traits as much as their good ones. He got that from the movie _Valentine's Day_.

So instead of exploding at Blaine, he took a deep breath, let it out, and cleared his mind of all the anger building up inside of him. "That would be the hotel bartender." He explained.

"Well, that explains why my butter beer was taking so long…" Blaine noted.

"It was horrifying," Kurt reminisced in disgust. "Your mouth unhinged like a snake."

"That sounds pretty awesome!"

_Ugh!_ Kurt brought his palm to his forehead and shook his head. "I can't go anywhere with you, Blaine!" He scolded.

Blaine frowned, but still managed to reveal no real emotion from his expression. "That hurt my feelings. Now we're both in the wrong."

Kurt just sighed in defeat. There was really nothing he could do at this point. If he complained more, he would have to hear more stupid comments from his brainwashed husband, and he was getting sick of that. "I wanna go home." He declared. "We're leaving."

"In that case," Blaine held up a finger to stop him, "I should probably mention that I filled our luggage with orphan meat."

Kurt had to blink twice. "Wha-_What?"_

Blaine shrugged. "Well, I'm building a meat drag, and not just any meat will do."

Kurt once again shook his head, trying to push his reaction out of the way so this stupid conversation wouldn't last much longer. He was done dealing with this crap. He just wanted to go home. "You know what? Forget it." He held up his hands in surrender. "I'm not even shocked anymore."

This time when Blaine frowned, he truly looked dissapointed. "Aww, that's no fun."

"This has become the norm for you, Blaine!"

"I'll have to try harder next time."

Kurt groaned. There was no way he'd be able to handle another situation like this, let alone something _worse_. "Please, don't." He begged.

"I feel like I've been issued a challenge." Blaine raised an eyebrow and smirked. Kurt narrowed his eyes, frustrated. _"Blaaaaaine!" _

"It's too late now-!" Blaine suddenly paused, squinting his eyes as if trying to remember something. "…_you…"_

There was a short moment where they just stared at each other. Kurt raised an eyebrow in confusion. "_…You?"_

Blaine's expression didn't change. "I totally don't remember your name."

Kurt felt his heart break a little bit. At that moment, he didn't care how many people Blaine ate, how many cites he destroyed, or how irritating his excuses were, but the fact that Blaine had _completely forgotten who his own freakin' husband was_ REALLY hurt. Like, _REALLY_ bad. It was the hardest slap across the fact he'd experienced since the whole situation began. And Kurt was _pissed. _"WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR SEVEN YEARS, BLAINE!" He shouted.

"And what an impression you've made." Blaine noted.

Kurt felt his eye twitch a bit. _No, Kurt,_ he thought to himself, _Don't freak out. Don't let yourself go into an uncontrollable rage. This isn't the real Blaine. This is that ignorant, psychopathic maniac that comes out of him whenever he's exposed to violence. It will all be over soon. Just calm down. _He proceeded to take a deep breath and stated, "My name is _Kurt."_

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, a bit puzzled. "What?"

"I said my name is _Kurt."_ Kurt clarified.

"_Oh…"_ Blaine's eyes went wide, blinking twice. "I thought you were a woman."

_Oh fantastic! _Kurt momentarily wanted to claw at Blaine's face for saying that, but let it go. _It's not Blaine… It's not Blaine… It's not Blaine… _"What would you think _that?"_

"Mostly the hat," Blaine pointed to Kurt's pink sun hat, which he frequently wore on sunny days. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Kurt snapped, placing his fists on his hips.

"Well… If you'll excuse me, I have some pictures to delete from my computer…"

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**A/N:** Basically at the end I'm implying that not only did Blaine forget he was married, but he forgot he was gay. That's just a low symptom of his horrendous disease. *sadness*

Oooooh! Part 4 looks fun! XD Can't wait for that! I mean… If you want me too… ;)

Once again, thank you so much for all your amazing reviews! Not only is this the farthest I've gotten to the end of a fan fiction, but it's the most reviews I've gotten! Probably because none of my stories are that good… But anyway, much loves to you all! Thank you so much! :D

Praise the love! *PEACE*

_~Mima Roses_


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